Feel the burn

Anyone who's ever gone to a Thai, New Mexican or Chinese joint with me knows I like to bring the heat.

Phad Prik Khing? Make it 10 out of 10.

A veggie tamale? Hit me with the hottest red and green chili sauces.

Kung Pao Tofu? Put a bunch of those seared hot peppers in there, baby.

Some of you may remember the notorious chipotle in adobo chili soup incident in college. That stuff was so freaking hot I could literally see steam shooting out my navel. (Note: I don't use literally literally.)

I thought I was going to surpass that lore this weekend. A business reporter brought a bunch of habanero peppers (aka Scotch bonnets, aka the King of Capsaicin, aka Lucifer in a Lump) to work. That's the little bastard there on the left. Being the flaming freak I am, I took a bunch, chopped them up, mixed them with veggies and a spicy Szechuan sauce and made a stir fry fit for Scoville. (Peppers are graded according to heat using something called Scoville units, I'm guessing named after a dude who likes fiery treats as much as I do.)

Veronica's eyes starting watering the next room from the heat. Rye started coughing.

After a few bites, my nose started running uncontrollably. My mouth was so hot it felt cold. It was like swallowing a light bulb. But it was pretty damn good.

Veronica asked me why I would do something like that.

Here's why:
I'm nearing 30, married, have a son, work a full-time up-and-down job, live in the suburbs, am slowly losing my hair, the Huskers freaking blow and I have no recreational outlets other than walking a cement trail around a man-made lake in the middle of McMansions.

In short, you seek whatever thrill you can get even if it's just a taste-bud roller coaster.

Silly society

Ever flip by the animal shows and just think how stupid and dirty these beasts are? I often wonder if there's some higher entity out there doing the same with us. If so, they have plenty of what-the-hell? fodder.

1. Neckties.
Are you freaking kidding me? Our society dictates that in order to be formal, you have to wrap a piece of fabric around your neck. It serves no tangible purpose, looks stupid and is uncomfortable. Ridiculous.

2. Lawns
Who was the jerk who said, "I've got an idea: We'll pay thousands of dollars to plant seeds/lay sod in the dirt and spend thousands more watering and fertilizing it. Then when it grows, we have to hurry out and spend hours cutting it"? To that I have a counter idea: Don't water it, so you don't have to cut it.

3. Handshakes
The proper way to greet someone you've never met -- or someone you've always known -- is by firmly grasping their hand. And exactly how hard you grasp their hand is supposed to be a big indicator about your personality. Puh-lease. Why can't people just adopt the curl-of-the-upper-lip-into-a-sort-of-smile-and-head-nod greeting? Seems perfectly fine to me.

Where are they now?

Josh Nichols

Aka: Nick

Then: Daily Nebraskan staff writer and Arts editor. That's him above in the Arts section circa 2000-01.

Now: Editor of the Grand Junction Free Press in Grand Junction, Colo.

Family status: Married to Katie (Perkins) Nichols. That's her with Josh on the right.

Current infatuations: Biking the 142-mile Kokopelli Trail from Grand Junction to Moab, Utah. He hopes to do it in four days.

Drives: An old Toyota pick-up with 230,000 miles on it.

So far away

Ever wonder why the hell you did something?

We wonder that everyday about leaving Colorado. We went back over Labor Day, and it was freaking awesome. We saw good friends, went on hikes and remembered what it's like to have access to a beautiful landscape.

We miss that state -- and state-of-mind -- pretty bad these days. And we kick ourselves for moving 700 miles from it.

But someone once told me you reach a point in life where there are no clear choices. You give up nature for a higher-paying job. You sacrifice friendships to see how you fare on a higher professional wrung. You leave behind 14ers to be closer to family. Rarely you can have it all in one place.

It's just hard to be pragmatic when you hear a stream dart its way around boulders, break the silence of a forest with the laughter of friends or feel the heft of your son sleeping in a backpack while you hike.